Superficiality and Community

For years now I have read the news on-line vs a newspaper even though in the Toronto market many are free. What I enjoy about the on-line Globe or Star are the comments following the articles. Invariably there are contrary and divergent viewpoints that expand my understanding of issues. Some comments are reactive, some affirmative and some bring brilliant dialogue to the topic which becomes a catalyst for testing the validity of the points expressed. One such interactive dialogue I found so intriguing from the viewpoints posted on all sides (many more than 2 sides to the story) that I copied and pasted the entire 200+ comments onto a word document to enable me to be more informed about the Israeli / Palestine issue which is confusing for me.

There are countless blogs and unlimited dialogue forums on-line about meaningful and diverse subjects. For yourselves, within Facebook there are perhaps a dozen dialogue groups openly discussing any and all topics about our heritage, our theology, our practices, our validity. These forums for me provide insight to the breadth of viewpoints related to our Community of Christ body of people. These forums help me to understand my own faith better as I consider my response to questions posed or perspectives cited. It is not just about protecting my positions of faith. I learn, I grow, I research to verify claims, I am stretched with the new and am enriched. I also always am mindful of our heritage standard to learn by both study and (prayerful) faith.  I would encourage each one to expand your horizons of exposure to faith dialogue. It will also necessitate you knowing your own heritage beliefs with Community of Christ. To know the fundamentals of our faith read the booklet, "We Share" which encapsulates our current enduring principles of faith. If you do not have the booklet, just read it on-line here:

 http://www.cofchrist.org/discernment/weshare/weshare.pdf

To give you a taste of thoughts out there about churches that are being discussed that hold back no punches try these following blurbs people have posted.

"when we are a part of the church, many of us assume that because we are surrounded by people our loneliness will be remedied. Not!  We wonder how genuine the friendships were there in the first place. We were lonely surrounded by people."

I understand the sense of isolation that seems pervasive in church culture. I have spent many hours this past year as a 66 year old trying to determine why this seems to be a characteristic of church community, even in the church that I have been a member of for 35 years and in which I have held leadership positions. When I recently went through a personal crisis, it was my longtime friends and neighbors outside the church community that rushed to inquire about my well being and support me. Interestingly enough, it was not my church "family." I haven't quite figured out the paradox of this situation, but I am working at it.

"going to church could give people the opportunity to mingle with diverse people that are quite different from themselves. In practice, though, many churches tend to attract congregations that tend to be somewhat "the same" and many church communities fear diversity and "the other". In a diverse world when certain communities fear diversity, these "sameness bubbles" will tend to get smaller and smaller. I think that if churches could change their inner psychology and embrace diversity, they could grow their numbers."

"I've never gone to a church where there was ethnic diversity. I have always gone to churches where there was economic diversity. Like you said, the ethnic diversity should have been there, and would have been a great way to get to know and relate to people of other cultural backgrounds. But it didn't work out that way, unfortunately."

"actually, I think the internet is one of the biggest reason for a fall in church numbers.
The internet does two important things:

(1) Community: as related to the post -- it allows community of like minded folks without having to give up 1/4 of your time off each week, drive across town or get dressed up only to have perfunctory nice talks with lots of fake smiles. Well, that is only how church is for some folks.
(2) Knowledge: evidence exposing the foibles of religion are now readily available.
While true that face to face community is important, I think it's important to emphasize a third option on why the Internet may have altered religious practice:
(3) freedom to explore ideas And no topic is considered off-limits. You can share and there will always be someone who can relate, chime in, etc. In the Church, there's too much concern about something being taboo, thus leading to artificial relationships. And our group is not perfect. People say things that offend others, but we're generally quick to make amends without sweeping it under the rug. That doesn't often happen in church. Quite the opposite: the offense is swept under the rug hoping to never be dealt with again. Nothing gets resolved. I'll take real and flawed any day over superficial parading as real and genuine.

Comments like the above challenge us to be relevant, to be real, to explore what needs to change. A full 75% of our total CEM membership is now peripheral to our attending ranks. That says something. Numbers speak volumes. In the sales profession, poor measurables determine the discontinuation of a product or the immediate and critical necessity to change it. Corporate survival is based upon listening, market research, competition, perceived customer benefits, and the cost to acquire that product in comparison to the alternatives. I say it that way as there is a cost to you to attend church in your measurably precious time, your personal inner investment for meaningful intersection with the Divine, courage to engage yourself in social relationships and actual $$ expenditures in gas, contributions etc. Knowing your customer and your customers needs in business creates product loyalty. Loyalty is fading. The comments above about churches are just a small slice of reality in people's thoughts who choose not to attend church.

We need "to be with" those in the periphery or those who are "alone" in our congregations to know them. "With" means personal time, $, courage, prayer and life investment in their lives. Many just fade away otherwise. We are superficial friends if we allow that to happen? Were they lonely in our midst because of superficiality. Is our community of joy, hope, love and peace a future image in our minds or a present reality in our midst. Are we community? These questions are for each of us to ask, to feel deeply within, to have tears over, to take us to our knees and pray for ourselves to change, as we are ultimately that product that needs changing.

I challenge myself and you to be honest, to know there is a cost, to know we need to change things in our lives such as praying intently, having an envisioned plan that compels us, increasing our capacity of time to nurture the reality of community where we are and becoming a catalyst by partnering with others to do the same. It is not easy. I open this blog site's stats and pray for everyone on this blog subscription list every day. May I, may the Spirit be a catalyst in yours and my life!!

submitted by Kerry

Welcome!

In a previous post entitled Walk-Ins, we discussed the phenomenon of people coming to church unexpectedly and simply walking in off the street. We discussed the concept of brand loyalty in religion which now seems to be outdated. Since writing that article, I have hear of more of this activity and wonder if it might be a trend.  The following are some additional thoughts on the subject.

In our day, a person looking for a church is much less likely to ask if there is a local congregation like the one they grew up in. Instead the questions are likely to be based on their own desires or needs. The following are a few questions such a person might ask themselves, their neighbours or their co-workers.

• Is this church friendly?
• Will I be welcome there?
• Will I find a spiritual home?
• Will attending this church help me find and connect with God?
• Will going to church here help me make sense of my life?

If the person is a parent, the questions become much more important.

• Is this church child-friendly, or will my children be welcome here?
• Is this place safe for my children?
• If there is a nursery, is it clean, modern and well stocked with safe supplies?
• Can I trust he people who staff the nursery?
• Is there a Sunday School, and what will be taught to my child?

Are we ready for people to walk in off the street? How do we know if we are ready? How can we let people know that they are welcome to just walk in? If this topic interests you, watch for future posts to What's the Good Word. I may have a few more thoughts on the subject.

Walk-ins

Several reports have reached me recently concerning folks who walked into church off the street. In each case, they were not church members but people who lived in the area, looking for a church. In one case, the visitor had been following the neighbourhood outreach activities of the congregation and thought a church that was interested in the neighbourhood might be one they would like to be part of. In a different city, the visiting couple had done some internet research and already knew something about Community of Christ world-wide; now they came to try out the local congregation.

In each case the people who "walked in" had no prior association with Community of Christ. Some had previous exposure to some brand of Christianity somewhere, perhaps through attending or visiting Sunday school as a child. Now, probably for reasons known only to God, the person or persons are wanting or needing more.

In previous decades, "brand loyalty" was an important concept in many people's lives. For example, a person who drove a Ford car or truck often loved that brand and was frequently a Ford customer for life. At the same time, there were others who would rather "push a Chevy than drive a Ford!" (Yes I know, them's fightin words!) Similarly, some folks always washed their clothes with Tide while other people swore by Cheer. A great example of the decline of brand loyalty comes from IBM. This company once owned the computer market, but now must compete with everyone else for a share of the business. As marketers are very much aware, there is little evidence of true brand loyalty any more.

Similarly, expectations have also changed in matters of faith. There was a time when people who were raised Methodist, for example, considered themselves Methodist for life. A Lutheran could be expected to always be a Lutheran, a Catholic to be a Catholic, and a Baptist would always be a Baptist. Now-a-days, however, brand loyalty in religion is almost a non-factor. Whereas in previous decades, a Presbyterian in one city might have been expected to look for a Presbyterian church when they moved, today no such assumption can be made. A member of Community of Christ who moves may find a local community church, whether Baptist, Mormon or Unitarian, or may choose to look for none at all.

In our day, a person looking for a church is much less likely to ask if there is a local congregation like the one they grew up in. Instead the questions are likely to be based on their own desires or needs. In days to come, I will have more to say on the subject of "walk-ins." Stay tuned!

Posted by Carman

Follow-up

On Monday of this week, What's the Good Word featured a report from Dorothy Burdette, co-pastor of Wiarton Community of Christ, concerning the response to their Easter Breakfast. Every good idea deserves and needs follow-up and this one is on exception. The following comments are from my email reply to Dorothy. They are offered here in hopes that they may contain something helpful to offer to your congregation as well.

Dottie:

Congratulations to Wiarton congregation on a successful Easter breakfast. My friend Jimmy Munson, a Seventy from Chattanooga TN always says, “Our Victory is in the Invitation.” I noted that President Veazey also used this same expression in his video series on Mission Initiatives.

Invitation is the critically important first step, and nothing is more important. Having said that, there are several more steps that are necessary. Here is my suggested short-list for follow up.

1. Even before the service happens, plan the next event or activity so visitors can hear it announced at the initial service. This information, along with guidance about when and where to register or appear, should be in the bulletin as well as on the announcement screen.

2. Communicate a “Thanks for coming” message to each guest who came to the activity or service. This should be done as soon as possible after the event, and preferably within 72 hours.

3. Build a communication list, whether by mail, email, twitter, newsletter subscription, or phone, so you can invite visitors to come for each subsequent event.

4. And finally, always thank and praise your volunteers (greeters, cooks, servers, ushers, decorators, tech-persons, participants, dishwashers and so on), letting them know how their contribution made a difference.

Once again, thank you for all you do. Your story is a powerful example of invitation at work. We will look forward to hearing more reports of future ventures in Wiarton.

Posted by Carman

Welcome!

One of the leading principles in the Old Testament, and down into the New Testament, was the principle of hospitality. The people in “bible times” were really serious about their hospitality. All you had to do was show up at the tent, door, well, whatever, and request the hospitality of the “Patriarch” and they were duty bound to provide for you.

As a matter of fact, this principle of hospitality was so very important that scriptures tell us that the lack of hospitality was one of the major “sins of Sodom” and the reason for its destruction. In the Bible, hospitality packed quite a punch!Let’s bring this down to today. Imagine if you will, a 19 to 20 something, dressed in black combat boots, jeans, a black t-shirt, a red and black “lumber jacket”, jet black hair hanging over half of his/her face, comes strolling through your church doors on Sunday morning. What might your reaction be?

Let me tell you about a reaction that truly impressed me.

I travel a fair bit in the Mission Centre and speak at Community of Christ congregations and other congregations of different denominations. My oldest son has been doing a bit of travel with me and we stumbled onto something. I started dropping Palmer off at the door, going and parking and then coming in myself. What we have experienced was really quite surprising!

At a Community of Christ congregation that is really serious about the Mission Initiative, “Experience Congregations in Mission”, when I came in I was greeted by a dear old friend but Palmer was nowhere to be seen. As soon as he had come through the door someone had spotted him, told him that everyone who came to that church had breakfast in their fellowship hall, took him there, got him set up with what he would need and went to get him a coffee. Another person asked him if he played any musical instruments and he replied that he played the bass guitar. Hearing that she exclaimed, “Wow! We really need a bass guitarist!”

The people who were with Palmer were later surprised when one of their own children told them that I was Palmer’s dad. Later that day, as I was taking Palmer home, he said, “WOW Dad, I could go to that church. The people were great!”

I guess that my question would be, what might happen if we all took the lesson of hospitality to heart? What kind of difference might it make today? How might generous hospitality serve in the Mission Initiative, Invite People to Christ or even Develop Disciples to Serve? What kind of “punch” might hospitality pack in the 21st century Community of Christ?

Take a stand to the side some Sunday, what do you see? The Canada East Mission Centre is ready to help with hospitality. Mike Hewitt has an excellent course on Hospitality that he can bring to you!

Poster is John Nichols

Dinner

It's not exactly "dinner" that I want to talk about. But I couldn't really put it all into a single word, so "dinner" is what you get.

I was reading this essay about Shared Meals earlier today and I've been thinking about it ever since. While I don't always agree with everything on this site for Christian women, I can count on them to force me to think!

I remember well my own family dinner table. (I've shared this before). We always ate together. We always sat in the same place. I was down there at the end; my left-handed brother sat at the corner so his elbow wouldn't conflict with anyone else's space. Much conversation happened at our table. Many lessons were taught and learned--some obvious, some not-so-much.

Much is written these days about ways our culture has changed. Many a comment has been made about the loss of the family dinner table. The essay I referenced earlier speaks of the changes in hospitality, the need for congregations to find ways to resurrect the shared meal, the importance of modeling Jesus' teachings about the common table.

Congregational practices around "pot luck" that informal ninth sacrament always generate lively discussion. Small groups and new groups (think Barrie) --ask them how often the eat together! It's one of the best ways we know how to bond a community into something tight and real.

Listen to the "experts" on family dynamics and the psychology of children or teens and pretty soon, you're likely to hear them talking about the need to establish, or re-establish the practice of eating together as a family. They'll advise you to turn off the television, remove the ear-buds and sit together at the table and to make it a habit.

I am really quite aware that I haven't offered you much in the way of answers. I'm quite conscious of the barriers that exist--the time crunch, the sports and school schedules, the allure of fast and pre-prepared meals, the dearth of time and volunteers to manage the congregational communal meal. But what do you think? Have we lost something that we should be reviving? Have we managed to hold onto something we want to keep? Is there something theological here that we might need to think about more deeply?

If you've got thoughts on this, please share. If you'd like to raise some more questions that's OK too. But if you've got answers toss them into the mix as well.

Posted by Marion

Belonging

As I was driving across town Tuesday morning I passed by my normal bunch of schools, elementary, high school, college and university. This is a very well-educated community I have. And I’m thinking of all those hundreds, thousands of people looking for the place they belong. Some are searching class lists posted on a bulletin board; some will have schedule in hand and will be approaching a room expecting to be welcomed, to find a seat, to locate someone already known.

“Is this where I belong?”

“Can I find my place here?”

“Will these people let me into this group?”

It’s a normal, human need – to find a place to belong.

We speak of belonging in church too. Some of the terms we use are “hospitality” and “community” and “relationship.” There was a time when we spoke of belief in the same context as we spoke of belonging. Phyllis Tickle (in her book "The Great Emergence") speaks of how the church has changed. Fifty years ago we found people who believed the same way and, after the prescribed time and rituals, we joined up and then we belonged. More commonly we were born into a congregation, grew up being taught the “correct” set of beliefs, conformed to the expected behaviours and at the appropriate age we joined; but really, we already belonged.

Not so in the twenty-first century says Tickle (and many others who observe the same patterns). People on the move long for a place to belong, to feel at home, to be accepted and loved. As they come into the community and observe how this group behaves, how its values are expressed, they may or may not find common beliefs. In fact one thing that communities do is talk together about those values. They may search out beliefs together. They may believe the same or they may not.

I spoke recently about expectations. We can’t expect, or assume, that everyone in our community will believe exactly the same. We won’t all have the same history or understanding. One of the things that will make our community feel safe is our willingness to accept people’s doubts and questions and struggle with belief. I’m much more likely to feel like I belong if you work with me as I struggle with my “unbelief”!

What do you think? Do you agree with Phyllis Tickle’s analysis? Which order of things resonates best for you: Believe, Behave, Belong? or Belong, Behave, Believe?

Posted by Marion

Reflect

No, this isn't another of my "pause and reflect" posts. I'm actually thinking today about the other meaning of the word: [ri-flect] (1) to cast back (heat, light, sound) from a surface -- as a mirror reflects light into the room (2) to give back or show an image of as a mirror (3) to reproduce or show, as followers reflect beliefs of a leader...

That's probably enough examples to let you catch my meaning. I've been reading Carol Howard Merritt's "Reframing Hope" again. (Highly recommend this great book!) She comments that most of our congregations tend to reflect society around us. We tend to ask the same questions, be concerned about the same issues, as our neighbours.

Certainly I see examples of this as we meet with congregations and their leaders. The questions we're asking are about our needs, those things we look for to make us comfortable, help us feel connected to this community of friends, brothers and sisters. What facility will most appeal; what worship style will most resonate?

As I listen to all those "targeted" political ads in this election time that promise to leave more cash in my pocket, take care of me in my old age, help me avoid paying those nasty taxes, I'm feeling a certain message being reflected at me. And it's a message that the folks delivering it must be quite confident about because I hear it over and over again.

Yet, my reading in Merritt's book suggests that our congregations ought to be doing something other than merely reflecting the society around us. In fact this is the message that came from President Veazey's address too. It isn't our job to merely reflect what we see around us. Our job is to reflect the love and mission of our leader Jesus.

When I'm hearing someone ask for something to make their pew experience more comfortable, or I hear a politician suggesting I keep all my hard-earned cash and let the ne'er do wells assume the consequences of their life-style choices, I am called to reflect something different:

Radical hospitality--Extravagant generosity--Extreme compassion!

What will THAT look like?

President Veazey didn't demand we get it all right immediately. He suggested we pick something and start there. And Carol Howard Merritt acknowledges it isn't easy. Society's pull is pretty strong. But so is the call to mission. What will we choose to reflect?

Posted by Marion

Big

Reunion season is upon us. Loaves and Fishes is over as well as McGowan's Lake. Both have been deemed great success. Last week several people experienced an Encounter with World Religions and this week that theme continues as another small community works towards Healing and Freeing the Spirit. Others eagerly anticipate the wonderful time they'll have at Erie Beach or Camp Noronto.

Some groups are small and some are big. My thoughts on big, however, go somewhat beyond the numbers participating in each event. And I'm not entirely sure I know how to speak about this in a way that's clear. It seems to me that ideas of big are not just about numbers, but also about attitude. I sense different feelings in our various groups; sometimes within the same group.

I've noticed that groups of people love to come together at reunion. They come with immediate family, with extended family, with friends from school, from the congregation and they feel like one big happy family. They love to be with this community where all feel safe and warm and welcome and beloved. They draw a tight encircling band around this community and bask in how it feels for this one week. They look forward to next year when they'll do it again. They think of strategies to pull even more people inside this circle. They hope to make the circle even bigger!

Yet, something feels kind of small to me here. Because I know that the world is just so much bigger than this very tight community. There are so many outside our circle who would not feel right here. They'd not know the old stories or the way things happen here, year after year. And for them, what feels like a big happy family would feel just too small for them.

I don't have an answer. Why, I don't even have a proper question! I do see some individuals being pulled into the circle. We tend to feel great success if we do this for one or two new folks. And I agree; much rejoicing in heaven for one lost soul, etc.

Whatever the numerical size of your event, can you get your mind around the concept of the great big world out there that needs you to remember it? to make room for it? to keep the doors open, boundaries porus? Can you stay open to changing the way things happen here? Maybe to point of feeling uncomfortably strange?

Is there a big reason to do this? Are we really practising to be a Zionic community? Or are we just being happy to be us, without any big problems, if only for one week a year?

Any thoughts from you, dear readers?

Posted by Marion

Difference

I have just been reading the farewell sermon of Bishop NT Wright. Many of you will recognize that name from some of his writings. He is often quoted as a respected, somewhat theologically conservative church person. But one who is willing to engage in the ongoing theological conversation with others of more liberal perspective. Most notably in The Meaning of Jesus with Marcus Borg.

But this is not about NT Wright, exactly, but about an intriguing sentence in that sermon of his.

He said Christians needed to learn “how not to please ourselves” but make room for one another and live in harmony.

He said: “It is fatally easy to squeeze out or sneer at people who for whatever reason appear not to fit our model; and when we do that, we more or less guarantee that they will not be able to hear, let alone believe, the message about Jesus that we preach.”

He continued: “It’s fatally easy to imagine that all my prejudices are theological convictions and that all your theological convictions are mere prejudices.

“That’s not to say that there aren’t such things as genuine convictions and prejudices, only that it’s often difficult to sort out which is which.”

He admitted that welcoming others was not easy and that Christians still needed to be able to tell the difference between the “differences that make a difference and the differences that don’t make a difference”.

I could say more about this but I think I'll just leave it with you. I thought it was lovely and if I'm honest with myself, there are many things that for me are clearly differences but I can't really be sure that they make any real difference.

What do you think?

Posted by Marion

Response

"All who actively engaged in prayer, discussion, and discernment about important issues in the church’s life are commended for your faithful response. Your disciplined effort to open your lives more fully to God’s Spirit in response to the call to be a prophetic people has become a blessing to the entire church. Your spiritual yearning for light and truth has created a favorable environment for the Spirit’s movement to provide inspired counsel as authoritative guidance for the church."

I dropped in on our Proton congregation yesterday. It was such a glorious, sunny morning when I awoke, it seemed like a great day for a drive into snow country. I was right!

Beautiful snow-covered fields, sparkling ice-frosted trees, clear blue cloudless skies accompanied the whole drive, right to the door of our pretty little rural Proton church. The door opened into a bright foyer, thanks to the sun through their stained glass south-east window. Coffee was on; Peggy's eggy muffins were hot from the oven. Hugs and hospitality everflowed.

Guests (who'd been invited by someone) were introduced and about fifteen of us settled down to discuss and discern about the Words of Counsel to the church.

Questions, opinions, perspectives flowed freely. Scriptures were explored, testimonies shared. "What does it mean to open our lives?" "How can our rural Ontario story mesh with other global stories?" Wisdom and insight was evident around that circle. It was a blessing for us all to be there.

And we noted the truth in the statement that a favourable environment is created for the Spirit to move when we are open to, and yearning for, new light and truth.

Thanks to all the Proton folk who enjoy that good spirit in their gathering and in their living. I've only shared a tiny bit of my experience there; maybe I'll share more in future posts.

Posted by Marion

Smarkner

Now there’s a word for you! One of my facebook pals used it in reference to her new Smart Meter recently installed to increase her intelligence and decrease her electricity usage. Says she now feels a whole lot smarkner!

It’s a “kid language” phrase from her family history. A once-little brother once said it and it passed into the family lexicon. How many of those words and phrases do we use every day? They are one of the markers of an “insider.” And it’s great to be an “insider.”

Unless you’re an “outsider.” How many special words and phrases do we use in our congregation, in our denomination, that say to others “we’re just so special in here” even as we talk about inviting and witnessing and evangelizing?

Do you have any of those smarkner words that only your family or your church family understands?

As we began to dig deeper into the We Share document with some "faithful saints" recently, we discovered our preference for certain terms and phrases that have always felt right to us, but that have apparently been recast for easier access, translation, etc. Are we going to be able to spend the time in conversation to ensure we know what we mean? Or will some of us continue to insist on the old terminology? Will we insist on using our comfortable insider language, even if it means someone else gets cast in the "outsider" role?

Between-times

I’ve just been reading a blog about what goes on in our sanctuaries in the “between-times”; that is, those times when we’re not in there using them for worship. Some pretty creative suggestions for serving the needy are offered.

http://www.achurchforstarvingartists.com/2009/07/hospitality-or-survival-or-greed.html)

It reminded me of the shocked and amazed reaction by some of the world church folk in Independence in a non-conference time. Walking around with our local guide these members from India and Haiti kept asking how all this space was used during the rest of the year.

“How many congregations meet here” one of the Haitians inquired about the Auditorium. And the Indian lady wanted to know how many and what types of classes were being held in all these wonderful Temple classrooms. You could see her imagining setting up sewing machines and neonatal care clinics.

So I’m thinking of some of the great spaces in our various facilities and wondering what ministries are flowing out “like rivers of blessing” into all the communities where we’re represented.

What are your ideas? And what examples can you share that you’ve heard of or been involved with?

Meanwhile, congratulations to Providence Bay who just received a Shaw grant to renovate their kitchen and downstairs meeting space to keep up their great community services. And to Corinth, who recently completed a fabulous kitchen reno to keep serving those great meals and providing space for other community get-togethers.