Superficiality and Community

For years now I have read the news on-line vs a newspaper even though in the Toronto market many are free. What I enjoy about the on-line Globe or Star are the comments following the articles. Invariably there are contrary and divergent viewpoints that expand my understanding of issues. Some comments are reactive, some affirmative and some bring brilliant dialogue to the topic which becomes a catalyst for testing the validity of the points expressed. One such interactive dialogue I found so intriguing from the viewpoints posted on all sides (many more than 2 sides to the story) that I copied and pasted the entire 200+ comments onto a word document to enable me to be more informed about the Israeli / Palestine issue which is confusing for me.

There are countless blogs and unlimited dialogue forums on-line about meaningful and diverse subjects. For yourselves, within Facebook there are perhaps a dozen dialogue groups openly discussing any and all topics about our heritage, our theology, our practices, our validity. These forums for me provide insight to the breadth of viewpoints related to our Community of Christ body of people. These forums help me to understand my own faith better as I consider my response to questions posed or perspectives cited. It is not just about protecting my positions of faith. I learn, I grow, I research to verify claims, I am stretched with the new and am enriched. I also always am mindful of our heritage standard to learn by both study and (prayerful) faith.  I would encourage each one to expand your horizons of exposure to faith dialogue. It will also necessitate you knowing your own heritage beliefs with Community of Christ. To know the fundamentals of our faith read the booklet, "We Share" which encapsulates our current enduring principles of faith. If you do not have the booklet, just read it on-line here:

 http://www.cofchrist.org/discernment/weshare/weshare.pdf

To give you a taste of thoughts out there about churches that are being discussed that hold back no punches try these following blurbs people have posted.

"when we are a part of the church, many of us assume that because we are surrounded by people our loneliness will be remedied. Not!  We wonder how genuine the friendships were there in the first place. We were lonely surrounded by people."

I understand the sense of isolation that seems pervasive in church culture. I have spent many hours this past year as a 66 year old trying to determine why this seems to be a characteristic of church community, even in the church that I have been a member of for 35 years and in which I have held leadership positions. When I recently went through a personal crisis, it was my longtime friends and neighbors outside the church community that rushed to inquire about my well being and support me. Interestingly enough, it was not my church "family." I haven't quite figured out the paradox of this situation, but I am working at it.

"going to church could give people the opportunity to mingle with diverse people that are quite different from themselves. In practice, though, many churches tend to attract congregations that tend to be somewhat "the same" and many church communities fear diversity and "the other". In a diverse world when certain communities fear diversity, these "sameness bubbles" will tend to get smaller and smaller. I think that if churches could change their inner psychology and embrace diversity, they could grow their numbers."

"I've never gone to a church where there was ethnic diversity. I have always gone to churches where there was economic diversity. Like you said, the ethnic diversity should have been there, and would have been a great way to get to know and relate to people of other cultural backgrounds. But it didn't work out that way, unfortunately."

"actually, I think the internet is one of the biggest reason for a fall in church numbers.
The internet does two important things:

(1) Community: as related to the post -- it allows community of like minded folks without having to give up 1/4 of your time off each week, drive across town or get dressed up only to have perfunctory nice talks with lots of fake smiles. Well, that is only how church is for some folks.
(2) Knowledge: evidence exposing the foibles of religion are now readily available.
While true that face to face community is important, I think it's important to emphasize a third option on why the Internet may have altered religious practice:
(3) freedom to explore ideas And no topic is considered off-limits. You can share and there will always be someone who can relate, chime in, etc. In the Church, there's too much concern about something being taboo, thus leading to artificial relationships. And our group is not perfect. People say things that offend others, but we're generally quick to make amends without sweeping it under the rug. That doesn't often happen in church. Quite the opposite: the offense is swept under the rug hoping to never be dealt with again. Nothing gets resolved. I'll take real and flawed any day over superficial parading as real and genuine.

Comments like the above challenge us to be relevant, to be real, to explore what needs to change. A full 75% of our total CEM membership is now peripheral to our attending ranks. That says something. Numbers speak volumes. In the sales profession, poor measurables determine the discontinuation of a product or the immediate and critical necessity to change it. Corporate survival is based upon listening, market research, competition, perceived customer benefits, and the cost to acquire that product in comparison to the alternatives. I say it that way as there is a cost to you to attend church in your measurably precious time, your personal inner investment for meaningful intersection with the Divine, courage to engage yourself in social relationships and actual $$ expenditures in gas, contributions etc. Knowing your customer and your customers needs in business creates product loyalty. Loyalty is fading. The comments above about churches are just a small slice of reality in people's thoughts who choose not to attend church.

We need "to be with" those in the periphery or those who are "alone" in our congregations to know them. "With" means personal time, $, courage, prayer and life investment in their lives. Many just fade away otherwise. We are superficial friends if we allow that to happen? Were they lonely in our midst because of superficiality. Is our community of joy, hope, love and peace a future image in our minds or a present reality in our midst. Are we community? These questions are for each of us to ask, to feel deeply within, to have tears over, to take us to our knees and pray for ourselves to change, as we are ultimately that product that needs changing.

I challenge myself and you to be honest, to know there is a cost, to know we need to change things in our lives such as praying intently, having an envisioned plan that compels us, increasing our capacity of time to nurture the reality of community where we are and becoming a catalyst by partnering with others to do the same. It is not easy. I open this blog site's stats and pray for everyone on this blog subscription list every day. May I, may the Spirit be a catalyst in yours and my life!!

submitted by Kerry

Different

I am a person who is different to the other. I have traits that rub some people the wrong way. I sometimes speak when I should listen. In my life I have hurt people mostly unknowingly but occasionally my actions have been knowingly disrespectful or demeaning. I also somehow in conversation, seem to perceive what was said differently than was intended by the speaker. Sometimes I find myself a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. My theology and principles of faithful practice are honed through my life experience and like all of us unique from others. I am different.

As our community of faith is trying to be inclusive, we become a people of diversity reflecting the uniqueness of each individual. Within this setting of interaction by people who are naturally different in myriad ways, meaningful dialogue is a necessary virtue of our church. Indeed, it becomes the "practice" of our diverse community that nurtures community balance within our midst.

Our diversity is not just a word or label. It names and defines our collective reality. We live community one with another in dialogue that engages the richness of our human virtues to enable us to love our neighbours as ourselves, acknowledging our inherent differences as simply differences. To the "other" we reflect differences reciprocally and equally, mirroring diversity. We are the other. Our mosaic is a blessing of understanding through meaningful dialogue; the medium of discourse of seeing through each others eyes. Our dialogue is sacred. It is the constant, the practice, the means that enables progress in our becoming a people who hold up peace to the world. Our dialogue is a transition catalyst that transforms our me/you, we/they mindset into neighbourly community where peace names and defines our relationships.

As we intentionally and prayerfully participate together in conversation each different to the other, our dialogue becomes sacred and then through the grace of God, from the outside looking in, the world about us can see and say, "Look they live:

·         Unity in Diversity

·         Peace within Diversity

·         Mission in Diversity

Let us recognize sacred community cannot and does not exist without diversity or dialogue. Let our daily dialogue bless our coming together to create a harmonious blending of our differences.

Posted by Kerry

Differently...Together

This week on our journey to participate in each Ontario reunion, we attended the CCM gathering (Contemporary Christian Ministries) at the Erie Beach grounds. We were greeted with worshipful music upon arrival as we proceeded to the chapel. Music within CCM is a connecting pathway of expression towards and with God. You have heard the phrase that “an individual wears their heart on their sleeve.” So it is with the worshipful and personal praise, sensitivity and spontaneity of both song and prayer within the CCM sacred community. The presence of God is sensed and cannot be contained. Raised hands, a hand laid upon another’s shoulder, smiles, clapping and perhaps as was seen in the afternoon music concert even dancing openly personifies the feelings of joy within. The comfort level for some would be challenged in this setting, however, personal preference is a privilege and freedom we all enjoy.

Devotion to the Lord is expressed in the testimonies shared whether in worship events, the lineup for lunch or a walk on the grounds. Scripture is well known and daily lives of prayer characterizes the comings and goings of all. I met families from other church affiliations sharing within this community for the week. I shared with families from several US states contributing to the spirit of the reunion. There is a compelling draw of fellowship that permeates the spirit of this gathering.

Scriptural imagery from the context of Paul’s writings used in the themes for the week portrayed the need to take upon oneself the armour of God exemplifying the enduring traits of the Divine. On the opening Sunday Apostle Susan Oxley brought rich testimony of the blessing of God’s peace in her life amidst even in the most fragile and seemingly hopeless moments of life. A mother shared how Susan’s personal witness had vividly touched the life of her 12 yr old son. Evangelist Bev Moor shared his envisioned imagery of Christ walking amongst us and the multitude of ways each individual might respond to his presence. There were touching moments when Kleenex was passed around the chapel.

Within the diversity of Community of Christ are people of faith, each encountering the Divine in fulfilling yet different ways that blesses our lives with grace and meaning and impels us to mission in Christ. Unity in diversity is recognizing the face of God in one another and celebrating the breadth and spectrum of our collective uniqueness. We are one in Christ bringing who we are; differently, what we believe; differently, the models of our worship; differently, the blessing and freedom of self-expression; differently……. together in community when we affirm the worth of one another. Nurturing mutuality, reconciling divergent perspectives, building reciprocity, facilitating meaningful dialogue, opening ourselves and entering into each other’s lives in humility and willingness to be sacred community, is the heart of our identity, even portrayed in the name of our church.

My prayer from visiting with and amongst so many is that we look beyond the wrappings, the package, the avatars of our humanity and strive to encounter ourselves and the Divine in each other.  

Posted by Kerry Richards

Stones II

When I can, at least when the weather is good and the season such that it is not pitch black outside, I love to go for an early-morning walk around the country block near the village where I live. Most of this walk is on gravel roads, and my eye has often been caught by a particular stone as I go along. I have mused about the lessons to be learned from stones before.

It is usually the colour of the stone that draws my attention; perhaps a particular shade of red or blue. Occasionally I have even bent down and picked up the stone, dusted if off and put it in my pocket. The disappointing thing, however, is that when I get it home, these stones often appear just to be rather ordinary, and not unique or special at all! At first I was a little puzzled by this.

Gradually I have come to understand that what makes the stones seem unique and interesting is the contrast they provide to the other stones around them. If most of the stones on the road are grey and then a dusty red one shows up, it will stand out from the crowd and seem particularly interesting. If all the stones are red, however, it will be just one more of the same. It is the contrast, the difference, the uniqueness within its context that makes the stone seem interesting.

Is that how it is with people? Do we value people for their differences within the community or do we like people best when they are just like us? Sometimes it seems we value people despite their unique characteristics, not because of them. The metaphor may be too simplistic of course, since unless you are a geologist, you probably don’t take time to think about or understand the personality of a stone. People on the other hand…well that’s a different story.

What if we valued people for their differences? What if we saw in the person who is disabled or “differently-abled” someone who has accomplished so much more than an ordinary person just to get where they are? What if we saw the child or adult with physical characteristics such as Down’s syndrome as someone who is a special gift from God? Would we feel it a privilege to know them? Would we then feel blessed by their treasured gifts, such as the ability to laugh easily and heartily? And what of the person who is a different size or shape and does not fit the modern image of beauty? Would we value them more for thier uniqueness?

Just a few morning musings as we journey along life’s road together,

Posted by Carman

Blowhardery

Now of course that is not a real word, although I did hear it used on a very prestigious interview program on the CBC this weekend. That ought to give it some credence, don’t you think? It was not defined or defended as a word, and the conversation just kept going on as everyone appeared to understand precisely what it meant without further elaboration. I immediately thought “what a good word” and resolved to use it somehow in the blog. I’ve been a couple of days deciding just what to do with it.

The conversation in question was about the apparent imbalance between male and female writers in most current popular magazines. Despite the growing numbers of excellent women journalists, critics and commentators the gender imbalance is undeniable. There are the numbers right there in printed listings of authors, reviewers, etc. Thus the discussion in question. What are the reasons for this imbalance in favour of male writers? Panelists, male and female, were offering their opinions.

One of them suggested that women tend to be less given to “blowhardery” and are not so likely to produce and offer up their free-lance pieces. “They don’t necessarily believe that everyone wants to read what they think.”

I’m not going to get into the eternal battle of the sexes here. That was just some context for you. I am aware that very often decisions get made based on the loudest voices in the discussion. Some people do very well with parliamentary procedure, for example, because they enjoy the argument. It may even seem that they enjoy the sound of their own voices. Some of them need to talk out loud to figure out what they think. You can hear their opinions forming as they speak, having begun from a place of not quite knowing. Blowhardery is just part of formulating a position.

Of course there are those who just hate it all. They’d really prefer never to speak in a meeting, let alone to stand up front and be the centre of it all. Take away that microphone and just let them sit in the back and listen.

But what happens then is that all the opinions spoken out loud are those spoken by the loudest voices. If we are to hear from the others we must devise other ways. It’s why we do things like hold small group dialogue sessions, give people a chance to write down their ideas, circulate polls or surveys, hold more meetings to give greater opportunity to listen and discern—even the opportunity to hear from different loud voices.

Folks with the gift of blowhardery tend to fill the air space available. It is their gift and we appreciate their willingness to share. I’m glad for the people willing and able to speak up. But don’t let’s forget the others whose ideas may differ, who may have thoughts the rest of us haven’t yet. Be sure to give them a way into the decisions too. The best decisions tap the wisdom of the whole. It’s hard work, but worth all our efforts.

Posted by Marion

Within

At the end of my quiet time this morning, my eye fell on the Daily Bread. I had not opened this book since before World Conference, and it had migrated to the bottom of the small pile of books I am currently using for spiritual formation and reflection. Somehow the book called to me, so I pulled it out and turned to the reading for today, Thursday, April 29, 2010.

I discovered that today’s thoughts were prepared by a member of the Toronto congregation whom I have known for many years. Her piece speaks of a quiet revelation she experienced early one morning in which she was urged to “Follow the Light;” the title of her piece. The author shares how the guidance of that moment was confirmed to her over and over during the days that followed. Her writing reflects and conveys the quiet joy she experienced in that experience with God, and in the succeeding encounters.

As I reflected on her writing, I realized how little I really know this author. While we have encountered each other casually at church functions many times over the years, we have seemed separated by many factors such as differing generations, experience, and geography, all of which now seem artificial. We may have different experience in life, but we also have things in common. Chief among these is the universal longing after God that seems to be the human birthright. I now realize I am poorer for not having taken time to get to know her better.

This realization is a blessing I do not want to take lightly. Within each human breast is a heart that beats just like our own. Each of us have thoughts, feelings, and desires; we have more in common than we often realize. Our various backgrounds and experience prompt different ways of looking at the world, and if we are not careful, these can lead to walls of ideas that separate us and cause us not to see each other as the delightful child of God we really are.

May we look at every person we encounter today with open eyes, and see beyond the facade to the precious Child of God that lives within.

Posted by Carman

International

I sit in the midst of a group of church leaders from around the world. Ironically, for the first time, these leaders are gathered in the heart of the United States of America but with almost no American presence. (U. S. church leaders have gathered separately.) African nations, Asian, Eastern and Western European, Canadian, Australian, Central and South American, French Polynesian; all have gathered in response to the call and invitation to gather and confer together.

We talk and listen, sing and pray in many languages; Tahitian, Philipian, Hindi, French, Spanish, and English. Translation is very important.The First Presidency asks many questions. They listen, make note of the questions for later reflection and attempts to find answers. What will the contents of Doctrine and Covenants 164 mean for the church? How do we interpret the new understandings on Baptism? How quickly can we move on confirmation of those baptized into Christ by other ministers? Will National, Field, or Cultural Area conferences be able to establish policy for their area?

The list of questions goes on.What does it mean to be an international church? We probably do not entirely know yet, but I suspect we are now beginning to find out. It goes far beyond appreciating the singing of the Tahitian choir, or the costumes of the Africans or the Indians. It means understanding that questions that seem important to us may have no significance or relevance for others. At the same time, issues that we have not even thought of within our cultural context are serious matters in other places.

As I participate in these meetings, I often think of one of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The principle in question is, “Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood!” In an International setting, that means we must spend a lot more time listening than talking.

It is a wonderful practice.

Posted by Carman

Levels

I have often been struck by the way faith seems to work on many different levels, whether so subtle that we are unaware of it, or so profound that we are lost in wonder at the majesty of our beliefs. Either way, there can be no doubt that our faith and beliefs matter to us.

Even among those who take their faith very seriously, people do not believe the same. Some people’s faith in God is based on a literal understand of scriptural propositions. Others’ beliefs may be much more ethereal, but those concepts will be every bit as important to those who hold those positions. Isn’t it interesting that faith matters so much to both of them?

There is one potential problem in using the term “levels” to describe this phenomenon. What we are discussing is nothing like peeling an onion, for instance, because that might imply that one type of faith was somehow deeper than the other and that is not my intent. Who am I to judge that? I know people in both camps, and their faith works for them. Oh, they may look at each other somewhat askance, but their suspicion of each other’s faith is not the point here. Each believes, and that faith matters. They may understand the nature of God differently; they may approach the Divine in dissimilar ways and have different ways of communing with the Sacred Presence, but for each of them, their faith makes their life richer and more meaningful.

Isn’t it interesting that faith in God works for people, even though they conceive of God quite differently from each other? It is simply another miracle of the divine-human encounter.