Superficiality and Community

For years now I have read the news on-line vs a newspaper even though in the Toronto market many are free. What I enjoy about the on-line Globe or Star are the comments following the articles. Invariably there are contrary and divergent viewpoints that expand my understanding of issues. Some comments are reactive, some affirmative and some bring brilliant dialogue to the topic which becomes a catalyst for testing the validity of the points expressed. One such interactive dialogue I found so intriguing from the viewpoints posted on all sides (many more than 2 sides to the story) that I copied and pasted the entire 200+ comments onto a word document to enable me to be more informed about the Israeli / Palestine issue which is confusing for me.

There are countless blogs and unlimited dialogue forums on-line about meaningful and diverse subjects. For yourselves, within Facebook there are perhaps a dozen dialogue groups openly discussing any and all topics about our heritage, our theology, our practices, our validity. These forums for me provide insight to the breadth of viewpoints related to our Community of Christ body of people. These forums help me to understand my own faith better as I consider my response to questions posed or perspectives cited. It is not just about protecting my positions of faith. I learn, I grow, I research to verify claims, I am stretched with the new and am enriched. I also always am mindful of our heritage standard to learn by both study and (prayerful) faith.  I would encourage each one to expand your horizons of exposure to faith dialogue. It will also necessitate you knowing your own heritage beliefs with Community of Christ. To know the fundamentals of our faith read the booklet, "We Share" which encapsulates our current enduring principles of faith. If you do not have the booklet, just read it on-line here:

 http://www.cofchrist.org/discernment/weshare/weshare.pdf

To give you a taste of thoughts out there about churches that are being discussed that hold back no punches try these following blurbs people have posted.

"when we are a part of the church, many of us assume that because we are surrounded by people our loneliness will be remedied. Not!  We wonder how genuine the friendships were there in the first place. We were lonely surrounded by people."

I understand the sense of isolation that seems pervasive in church culture. I have spent many hours this past year as a 66 year old trying to determine why this seems to be a characteristic of church community, even in the church that I have been a member of for 35 years and in which I have held leadership positions. When I recently went through a personal crisis, it was my longtime friends and neighbors outside the church community that rushed to inquire about my well being and support me. Interestingly enough, it was not my church "family." I haven't quite figured out the paradox of this situation, but I am working at it.

"going to church could give people the opportunity to mingle with diverse people that are quite different from themselves. In practice, though, many churches tend to attract congregations that tend to be somewhat "the same" and many church communities fear diversity and "the other". In a diverse world when certain communities fear diversity, these "sameness bubbles" will tend to get smaller and smaller. I think that if churches could change their inner psychology and embrace diversity, they could grow their numbers."

"I've never gone to a church where there was ethnic diversity. I have always gone to churches where there was economic diversity. Like you said, the ethnic diversity should have been there, and would have been a great way to get to know and relate to people of other cultural backgrounds. But it didn't work out that way, unfortunately."

"actually, I think the internet is one of the biggest reason for a fall in church numbers.
The internet does two important things:

(1) Community: as related to the post -- it allows community of like minded folks without having to give up 1/4 of your time off each week, drive across town or get dressed up only to have perfunctory nice talks with lots of fake smiles. Well, that is only how church is for some folks.
(2) Knowledge: evidence exposing the foibles of religion are now readily available.
While true that face to face community is important, I think it's important to emphasize a third option on why the Internet may have altered religious practice:
(3) freedom to explore ideas And no topic is considered off-limits. You can share and there will always be someone who can relate, chime in, etc. In the Church, there's too much concern about something being taboo, thus leading to artificial relationships. And our group is not perfect. People say things that offend others, but we're generally quick to make amends without sweeping it under the rug. That doesn't often happen in church. Quite the opposite: the offense is swept under the rug hoping to never be dealt with again. Nothing gets resolved. I'll take real and flawed any day over superficial parading as real and genuine.

Comments like the above challenge us to be relevant, to be real, to explore what needs to change. A full 75% of our total CEM membership is now peripheral to our attending ranks. That says something. Numbers speak volumes. In the sales profession, poor measurables determine the discontinuation of a product or the immediate and critical necessity to change it. Corporate survival is based upon listening, market research, competition, perceived customer benefits, and the cost to acquire that product in comparison to the alternatives. I say it that way as there is a cost to you to attend church in your measurably precious time, your personal inner investment for meaningful intersection with the Divine, courage to engage yourself in social relationships and actual $$ expenditures in gas, contributions etc. Knowing your customer and your customers needs in business creates product loyalty. Loyalty is fading. The comments above about churches are just a small slice of reality in people's thoughts who choose not to attend church.

We need "to be with" those in the periphery or those who are "alone" in our congregations to know them. "With" means personal time, $, courage, prayer and life investment in their lives. Many just fade away otherwise. We are superficial friends if we allow that to happen? Were they lonely in our midst because of superficiality. Is our community of joy, hope, love and peace a future image in our minds or a present reality in our midst. Are we community? These questions are for each of us to ask, to feel deeply within, to have tears over, to take us to our knees and pray for ourselves to change, as we are ultimately that product that needs changing.

I challenge myself and you to be honest, to know there is a cost, to know we need to change things in our lives such as praying intently, having an envisioned plan that compels us, increasing our capacity of time to nurture the reality of community where we are and becoming a catalyst by partnering with others to do the same. It is not easy. I open this blog site's stats and pray for everyone on this blog subscription list every day. May I, may the Spirit be a catalyst in yours and my life!!

submitted by Kerry

Sheep

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters;
he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff- they comfort me.
Your prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long.

Somehow I have never thought of myself as a sheep. In all the years I have been reading the 23rd Psalm, the full impact of that simile always eluded me. At least that was true until recently when along with the CPI pastors I was invited to dwell in that word.

Perhaps it was listening to a farmer who raises these animals and his assertion that 'sheep are the dumbest creatures on God's green earth' that had made me blind to the psalmist's intention. Or, perhaps it is from being involved in ministry for the past 45 years that I have tended to see myself in the pastor/shepherd role rather than that of the sheep. Still, when you really look at it, this psalm makes clear the shepherd to sheep relationship, and identifies which side of that equation we are on. We are the sheep, or more specifically, I am the sheep.

The interesting thing about this realization is that it is okay, in fact it is downright wonderful. Aren't there times, probably a lot more than we care to admit, when we need to lie down in green pastures beside still waters until our souls are restored? Aren't there times, especially for people who are involved in caring for others, when we need to be fed and nourished? Don't each of us sometimes need the oil of blessings to be poured over our heads?

It is a privilege to be able to give ministry for the benefit of others, but there are also times when we need to be able (and willing) to receive. When our cup is empty, when our bodies are weary and our minds exhausted, we need to recognize that we are not and cannot be the shepherd of the world. In such times it is good to accept the role of sheep and have our own needs supplied.

Perhaps if more of us did that a little more frequently, we could do a better job of staying on the "right paths" and avoiding the dangerous and rocky road that leads to burnout gulch.

Posted by Carman

Shepherds

I have shared previously in Whats the Good Word that my morning quiet time has brought me to a review of the writings of the prophet Jeremiah in the Hebrew scriptures. This morning I am thinking about the shepherds in Jer. 23:1-4. Jeremiah used the term “shepherd” in a different way than we normally do today, so perhaps that is the place to start.

For me, and perhaps for you, the image of the shepherd is coloured by years of Christmas pageants and the many idealized and romanticized paintings of Jesus the Good Shepherd we are probably all familiar with. In the gospels, Jesus uses this pastoral image to describe his own role. This must have been quite jarring to the people of his day, since shepherds were not the normal, ideal role model for a teacher/rabbi.

Jeremiah uses the image of the shepherd to refer to the kings of Israel and Judah. The author blames the rulers of the nations for destroying and scattering the sheep, referring to the invasion of King Nebuchadnezzar and the Babylonian captivity. In this text, the scattering of the sheep is a direct result of not being faithful to God and allowing the people to chase after other deities.

Today it is common to use the image of shepherd interchangeably with that of the pastor. The pastor/shepherd is one who watches out for and cares about the well-being of the congregation, the people within her/his care. Rather than destroy or scatter the flock, the pastor is expected to protect the sheep, see that they are spiritually fed and nourished, and generally tend to their needs.

Perhaps the oldest question in Scripture is “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9) Am I expected to guard, protect, or attend to those around me? The testimony of both Jeremiah and Jesus is a resounding YES! The thing all of the above images have in common is the idea that we have responsibility to care for others, especially those within our sphere of influence.

Inevitably, that bring me/us to a consideration of my/our own pastoral ministry. Am I/are we being a responsible shepherd in caring for the needs of others? Do I/we attend to them, notice when they are missing, go visit them and check to see if they are okay, assuring them that they still have a place within the flock? Or do I/we simply lament the fact that they have wandered away somewhere,and the flock keeps getting smaller? Am I, as a pastor responsible for all of that? Once again, the testimony of both Jeremiah and Jesus is a resounding YES!

That peaceful, pastoral image of the shepherd can be most disturbing at times, can't it?

Posted by Carman

Old

Last Saturday afternoon I dropped in to see an old friend. I say “old” not just because we have been friends for over 30 years, but because at 96, my friend is literally and legitimately old.

We talked about many things; old memories, old stories, old hurts and joys among them. We reminisced about his dear companion, now departed, and about their children and grandchildren. He told me about taking his car to the grocery store that morning (yes, he still drives), about the guy who comes to fix his computer, and the visiting homemaker who now comes to help him twice a week. We did not solve the problems of the world, although we both would if we could. In fact, nothing we talked about was really all that important. And yet, I came away with the usual sense of joy and peace because of our time together.

Thirty years ago my friend was my pastor, and he was a good one. I say he was a good one, not just because the congregation ran smoothly under his leadership although for the most part, it did. He was not a good pastor just because he knew how to plan worship schedules or find Sunday school teachers. He was a good pastor because he knew how to care for and listen to others. He was faithful to visit the older members of his congregation as well as those who were sick or bereaved. He was my pastor, and later on, I was his. In some unofficial sense, I guess I think I still am.

In my visiting with congregations, I often hear pastors and others lamenting about the current lack of priesthood visiting. It is not an easy thing to fit in these days. The demands of modern life are such that priesthood members often feel they do not have time for this task. Further, modern families are busy and often don’t feel they have time to be visited. A check-in on facebook may be all the time they can afford. In our post-modern age, pastoral visiting sometimes seems like a dying art.

Yet, in all of this busyness, there is one group that is a notable exception: old people. Old people are often lonely and sometimes seem to be almost forgotten. The direction in Doctrine and Covenants 161:3a; Open your hearts and feel the yearnings of your brothers and sisters who are lonely, despised, fearful, neglected, unloved, may even seem custom-made for some of these dear old folks. If they are fortunate, they may have family members who check on them, but still their days are frequently spent quietly alone, especially in the grey months of winter. They don’t expect much. They will not demand a lot of your time, but even a short visit can do so much to brighten their day. They will know someone cared enough to call, to drop in for a chat, or perhaps to bring the communion. They will be glad you came, and so will you.

Is there an old person you know who could use a visit? Have you got just one hour (or even a half hour) to spare for someone who is old? Why not call and arrange a time to drop by? You will be so glad you did.

Posted by Carman

So

So…

I always know when someone approaches me and launches a conversation with the word “So…” that we’re likely going somewhere interesting. Where we’ll go may be indicated by the tone or the inflection in their voice:

Sometimes it’s a questioning tone. “So?” And away we’ll go into trying to find some answers to some questions they’ve been puzzling over. “So what do you do when a ten-year-old brings a friend to communion and we will offer the communion to the friend but we know our kid hasn’t been baptized?” Hmmm, maybe we can address that question with our apostle or the author of the Sacraments book, but I, personally, think we’re on shaky ground here. So did the pastor who posed the question, I suspect.

This week we’re spending with our CPI pastors in an intense week focusing primarily on the “gathering ministries.” We’re considering much of what happens when we as congregations come together, whether in worship or fellowship or disciple formation or education or potluck or …

Our “coming together” takes up a great big piece of what pastors and members pay attention to. If you’ve been listening to or reading much of what Carman has been preaching or posting you’ve heard him repeatedly remind us about the very important ministry that goes on outside our gathering times. We do need to work on balancing our ministries more with inviting and witnessing or sending each other out to bring service and this truly IS important. But for this week, we need to talk about what goes on in that long list of things we do together.

“So…” many conversations begin as part of an extended conversation. Maybe we’ve been talking about conflict in a congregation. “So... how do we deal with this personality clash that looks as if it could turn into a real family feud...?” Oh my, there’s a real “so…” what do we do with this? Can you imagine what the tone and the inflection is as we considered that challenge?

“So…” many conversations are happening this week. Some of them will be about some new techniques and practices your pastors may be bringing home. Some will be about deep concerns that your pastor may be carrying on his or her heart. Maybe they don’t even know how to talk about it or what to ask. So they just come up to me and say “so…” in a way that suggests we need to go somewhere we may not have gone before.

It’s good for us to be in a retreat setting. We will be spending lots of time in formal class work, but we’ll also be spending time at meals, or taking long walks along the Scarborough bluffs, or hunkered down in a lounge at midnight after the evening’s fun has ended. And much of the hardest and best work we do will have started with some version of “so…”

We appreciate your prayers for us this week.

Posted by Marion

Neighbours

I just received a nice newsy email from a friend who’s recently retired. Like many newly retired folk, she’s finding herself busier than ever. [Note to self: refrain from real retirement awhile longer!] My friend is also a minister, and much of what she’s been busy with have been weddings and funerals. One of her stories is remarkable and I’d like to share it with you.

Married to a wonderful supportive spouse who happens to be an active practising Catholic, my friend has lots of family whose heritage is in the Catholic church. But like many people today, some of this extended family do not have an active church life and don’t have a priest or even a parish that they feel attached to. These folks have come to look to this Community of Christ priest as a family minister at times when they “need” one—for weddings or funerals.

She had the opportunity to be with a sister-in-law through the last days of her illness and then with the family for the funeral at a somewhat distant city. As it happened, the next door neighbours of the bereaved family are active in the Community of Christ congregation in that town. The reception following the services were held in that church. And our friend was supported by her brothers and sisters so that she could bring comfort and minister to her extended family. She can also return home being assured that these good folks will continue to offer help and solace to their bereaved neighbours.

Of course we’ll say “it’s a small world” and think about the interesting “synchronicity” of the experience. But as Allyson says: I’ve learned it’s not about me and what I do; I just need to be open to whatever that power is working there already.

I am grateful for her and her ministry and her openness to the power, but I am also grateful for those neighbours who were doing their part for a family in need.

Posted by Marion

Pastor

This week we have been having a fascinating conversation about church. It began with Tuesday’s post entitled Distinctives, and continued with Marion’s Wednesday’s post, Wisdom.

That conversation continues, and this morning I am thinking about a central figure in this discussion; the pastor. After all, it was the vision, and the passionate sense of calling of the pastor of the congregation described in Distinctives that brought that church to new life.

The stimulus for this morning’s pondering is probably Ann’s comment yesterday about paid pastors. Add to that, the situation of two of our congregations that are having difficulty finding a pastor, and you have the making of a whole lot of questions. Is a full-time, paid pastor the answer? We have that now in one CEM congregation. Is that the way we need to go in others?

Any conversation about paid pastors quickly leads to talking about money. For easy figuring, let’s assume we pay our pastor a modest salary of $50,000 per year. Add in the cost of benefits and pension contributions, then throw in a little expense money, and that quickly brings us to a total cost of $75,000 or more. How would we pay for that?

Fifteen years ago, a young woman of our acquaintance began attending a new church in Waterloo, ON. If memory serves, that congregation was started by eight families, each of whom pledged to give $10,000 a year for five years. Allowing a little for inflation, lets round that figure up to $1,000/month. Would you be willing to give that amount to cover the cost of a pastor?

At the recent World Conference, the Presiding Bishops provided some helpful facts. Eighty percent of church members give 20% of World Mission Tithes, and Twenty percent of members give the other 80%. Further, the average giving by the first eighty percent is $200/year while the twenty percent who carry the load gives $2,200. Of course that is only “World Mission Tithes,” so the total giving by both groups is at least double, but it still doesn’t seem like a lot of money does it?

Paid pastors are not the answer for many of our congregations, but it may be for some. If you think full-time pastors are the way of the future, are you willing to increase your giving to support that?

Please join this fascinating conversation!

Posted by Carman

Grace

This morning, all the trees in the forest stand with their arms extended, bearing grace. Some will look and not see grace, because the blessing is in the form of snow. Some will think, “But its cold and heavy. It pushes the branches down, and may permanently change the shape of young trees and even break old branches.”

All of that is true. The snow does have the potential to change the trees. Young saplings may indeed be modified by the weight on their branches, and some boughs that are old and tired or even dead but still hanging on may be brought down.

Yet, it is all a blessing, for in this way the forest is tested, modified and pruned. Then, the snow falls to the ground and provides protection for the roots. Eventually it melts and provides life giving nourishment to the tree. Our world is like that.

We are like those trees. Life’s cold winds and the accumulating years can often lay burdens in our arms that may seem cold, harsh and heavy to bear. The load will stretch and reshape us, and there is even a chance that we may break under its weight.

Life’s problems will definitely change us. Is it possible that those challenges are really an unrecognized form of grace?

Posted by Carman

Ready

OK, so here's the response to the "Yes, but..." that many of you were thinking after you read yesterday's Perfect blog!Surely you can't expect me to be perfect! Nobody's perfect.

Recently I've had the opportunity to speak with many pastors about the potential in their people, some young people, some not so young. And very often the question is about whether or not the person in question is ready or not for the job, the priesthood call, the responsibility, whatever. How do you tell if someone is ready?

Pastors, by their very nature, tend to be very caring people, "pastoral" you might say. They often would rather just keep piling work on themselves rather than burden someone else, especially someone who might not be ready for the task at hand.

So I ask, who is ever totally and completely ready for anything? Who is ready to start this job? to be a parent? to step before this audience? to write this book, or blog, or sermon? But you need to step into the future and get the experience and maybe some day in the future you'll be ready. But then, the call will come for some newer bigger challenge. It's how life works.

If you are a pastor or a leader just now, look around at who might someday be ready, make the call and then stand by to mentor and support but also be prepared to let them go and do the job. They might be more ready than you imagined.

Posted by Marion

Pastor

2020 Vision Goal 3: Every Congregation in Relationship with CPI (Co-missioned Pastor Initiative).

“Russ preached a really great sermon last Sunday,” I was told. “The kids were really paying attention, and really ‘got it’.”

If you are a preacher or public speaker, wouldn’t you like to have that kind of ringing endorsement for your messages? Don’t you wish every sermon was so captivating? Can you imagine what that would do for your congregation? The possibilities are almost enough to take your breath away!

Russ, of course, is Russ Pirie; Pastor of Hamilton congregation, and if he is reading this, he is probably both surprised and blushing; surprised to find himself spot-lighted here, and blushing due to the praise that came from a member of his congregation. But how did this pastor get so skilled? Where did he learn to speak that way? At the risk of over simplifying, the answer may lie in the fact that Russ is a trained, CPI Pastor. Along with the other three CPI Alums in CEM, he is a better trained, more competent and confident, and a more effective pastor and speaker as a result of spending time every year for four years in training. That is the benefit we want for all our pastors and their congregations. Consequently, we have begun the CEM CPI program. As far as I know, we are the first mission centre to do so. So far we have twelve pastors from seven congregations involved in our first cohort. This is our pilot group. We are planning for more.

Earlier this year when first we met with this new cohort for team building and orientation, several of the pastors spoke about how they “just knew” this was what they had to do. There was something ‘calling’ them into this new program, even if they didn’t understand exactly what all might be involved. There was an eagerness in each person; an anxiousness to learn, a quiet excitement. I smiled, and knew they would not be disappointed.

This fall, we met with that group of twelve again, this time for a week of intense study with the Dean of the Community of Christ Seminary, Don Compier, and South America Mission President Arthur Smith. They came together in retreat to study theology and learn scriptural exegesis. In the weeks leading up to the retreat, and even at the beginning of the week itself, we heard a fair amount of groaning about the amount of reading, and whether they really had time to do this much work. Again, I smiled. I smiled because I knew of the benefits that would come to them as a result of this commitment of time. Despite their reservation, they began immediately to apply themselves faithfully to the task. One by one, around the room, the light dawned as each began to understand. And I know, without any testimonials, that their sermons are better, their confidence has improved, and their ministry is stronger as a result of that week together.

Our goal is to have every congregation in the CPI program. It won’t happen overnight. It does take work and costs money, but it is worth every minute and every penny. It is an investment in our congregations and in the future. I thank God for pastors who are willing to grow.