"G"

This is the sixth and final post in a series of articles written by a number of Community of Christ Evangelists in Canada East Mission. We are pleased to offer the stories of these highly respected ministers for your reading. It is our hope that their stories of faith will bring a blessing to your life. This post is a little longer than we usually publish, but it is well worth five minutes of your time.  The post is from Evangelist Heather Fryer of Monetville, Ontario. 

Based on: Luke 4:18 IV

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised;”

As I pondered this scripture and the request to give an example of “the oppressed go free”, I considered that oppression can come in many forms—and can even be self-inflicted. I thought of a situation where people can find themselves “oppressed” by their circumstances and don’t recognize that they have caused the situation by their own fears, beliefs and choices. 

This is the story of a good friend and neighbour whom I will call Mrs. G. (just “G” for short).  After a lifetime of working hard and spending the last two years of her husband’s life caring for him until he died, G kept herself busy by helping out her neighbours and expressing her love in the form of homemade bread, pies, cakes or cookies. She was a blessing to many.  But, over time, she found managing her finances very challenging—her husband had always done that job. And now, of course, there was just one pension income but the same expenses to care for her home, even with the widow’s supplement. She became brokenhearted with despair over how to make ends meet.  She succumbed to “purchase-required” contests that promised big winnings and fortune-tellers that promised good fortune if money was sent to them.  Using credit cards to pay the fortune-tellers (who threated to send her “bad” luck if she didn’t send money), these situations drew her deeper and deeper into debt.  G became anemic from living on bread and margarine because she spent her money on these dreams instead of groceries. To her credit, she had good intentions for her potential winnings—to help others and the Church. This situation was unknown to anyone. Her only child, a son who was drowning in his own troubles was very effective at ignoring his mother and seldom stopped by to see her (even though he drove past her house every day, going to and from his home further up the road).

Since her husband died, G was very faithful attending our congregation and was baptized in 1997, at the age of 70. In 2006, although she professed to being “fine” when I would chat with her after Church, I had noticed that she seemed to be distressed but was not forthcoming. In the Fall of that year, we had as our guest ministry Ken McGowan, Financial Specialist. (I believe that his presence was God-directed, as there were three CEM appointees who had given a presentation in North Bay the previous day and on Sunday, each one was designated (by whom?) to visit a Northern Ontario congregation.)  Dwight and I hosted Ken overnight in our home. During our visit I expressed to him my concern for G, as I knew of a previous time that she’d had received advice through another friend who had tried to help resolve some dubious financial matters. Ken had some ideas for me to consider offering to her. As is our congregation’s custom when we receive guest ministry, we had a pot-luck lunch after Church and sister Shirley and I noticed that G was looking very pale. Shirley and I convinced (read: coerced) G into permitting Shirley to drive her to the Emergency at the nearest hospital.  G was so depleted, she required blood transfusions and barely remembers being hospitalized for a week, or any visitors who came to see her.

Following the return to her home, I visited her and expressed my concern, offering assistance if there was anything I could do to help. G’s eyes welled up with tears and she told me that she had “not slept a wink all night”, but had lain awake praying, asking God to please send someone to help her. The Holy Spirit sent a tingle through me from head to toe and tears came to my eyes, as I realized that mine was a God-sent mission. What a humbling and awesome privilege to be God’s instrument in answer to another’s prayers. As we talked, I shared with her that Ken had some ideas and if she wished we could follow through with them. I became her Financial Manager and hold Power of Attorney for her finances. As CFO, I applied for some assistance from the Oblation fund, which was gratefully received. We met with the bank manager and arranged a consolidation loan to pay off her debts. Then we set up a budget to manage income and expenses, settling on a weekly amount of cash for her to pay for some costs directly, such as groceries and personal items. With Ken’s assistance, we also prepared her will. God helped us to “bring deliverance to a captive”.

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G got back into the baking she loved to do, sometimes taking orders or selling from her table at the local annual yard sale. Her hope and joy in life returned and she enjoyed visiting her friends once again and helping where she could. Since I would not receive any monetary appreciation for assisting her, she kept us supplied with regular gifts of pies or my husband’s favourite oatmeal cookies. G’s mail was delivered to my mailbox so I could pay her bills and after several months of “return to sender” and note-writing, managed to eliminate the contest and fortune-teller mailings. G was no longer “blind” to the deceit she had suffered and could now “see” hope for the future. It is ironic that in her troubles she could see the needs of others and wanted to help them but could not see how to help herself. I believe that is why God needed to respond to her prayerful pleas.

Through regular contact with her son, I was able to involve him more in her life and his new wife was also instrumental in promoting regular visits. In her 80’s, G’s health was deteriorating and my “responsibilities” grew to accompanying her to medical appointments and shopping trips. The care providers kept supposing I was her daughter, so we unofficially “adopted” each other. Arrangements were also made for Home Care, nurse visits and various other services through the wonderful Community Care program. Through government Residential Rehabilitation Assistance and Home Adaptation for Senior’s Independence programs, we were able to arrange for much-needed repairs and adaptations for her comfort and safety.  

A year and a half ago, her son and his wife found themselves in need of new accommodations.  This presented an opportunity for them to move in with G, which was a blessing since by then she was becoming unable to live alone. Because she was not amenable to the idea of a nursing home, this took care of all of their needs.  The son that ignored her for years now provides 24-hour a day care, supplemented with several visits per week from the Community Care workers. The “bruising” of the past has healed as she expresses her love and appreciation for her “wonderful son who takes such good care of me”. In accordance with her wishes and those of her son and daughter-in-law, I remain her financial manager. These arrangements are fulfilling her wish to remain in her own home for the rest of her days. She is ”set at liberty” from previous fears and anxieties.

At 85 years of age, G comes to Church when physically able and attended the Community Christmas Dinner and, in January, following a half-hour drive, sat in a wheelchair to pay her respects to the family of a priesthood member who passed away. I am pleased to state that G’s finances are in a healthy condition with sufficient funds reserved for her funeral expenses. She feels secure, knowing that her affairs are in order. For myself, I humbly appreciate having the opportunity to act with God’s help to bless the life of a faithful soul who has the gift of kindness and generosity towards others. In turn, G has blessed me with her warm friendship and love and the many lessons I have learned along the way about being a Spiritual Companion and receiving our Heavenly Father’s guidance.

Heather Fryer, Evangelist

Monetville, ON Canada

A place of Support and Healing

 

This is the second in a series of articles written by a number of Community of Christ Evangelists in Canada East Mission.  We are pleased to offer the stories of these highly respected ministers for your reading.  It is our hope that their stories of faith will bring a blessing to your life.  This post is from Evangelist Carole Heathers of Stratford, Ontario.

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For ten years I spent a week at camp with a group of people oppressed by society and the stigma of HIV/AIDS. I knew of the oppression and stigma firsthand as our son struggled with whom he could trust to share his status. He lost his battle with AIDS in 2000.

The camp was sponsored by another denomination and was the only AIDS camp that included all people. The campers were a diverse group, adults, children, gay, straight, different nationalities, different abilities, different religions…so many differences but the one thing they had in common was that HIV/AIDS had touched their lives. In spite of the many differences they accepted each other with open arms. Camp is a safe place for everyone, often the only place where they could be themselves and feel safe enough to speak freely. When I stepped on the grounds each year I had the feeling that it was sacred space where all were safe and accepted…it reminded me of how I envision Zion.  Some campers had never been able to share their status for fear of being ostracized, even persecuted. As the week goes on you can see a weight lifted from their shoulders… a wonderful blessing…a blessing of acceptance and support.

Each day I led a Guided Meditation elective to bring healing. To those who took part it built a bond of trust between them.  On one occasion I was able to offer to a very sick camper the sacrament of the laying on of hands. My heart ached for the campers as they shared their stores of abuse and cruelty. That pain was doubled when their own family turned their back on them.

I remember the year a young man drove onto the campgrounds. It only took a look into his eyes to see his pain and fear. He had been encouraged to come to camp but as he stepped on the grounds it was obvious he was ready to run. I approached him, introduced myself and did my best to help him feel at home. It was a struggle to keep him at camp but I encouraged him each day to stay for another night and see how he felt. I asked him to come to the meditation group I was leading. After the rest of the group left for other activities he stayed and talked and cried as he shared the pain in his heart. He found out he was HIV positive just a few weeks before he came to camp; his parents distanced themselves from him. He was alone, scared of what the future would bring. He was depressed, nervous and had no one he trusted enough to share this burden with. In the quiet of our meditation room I had the privilege of listening to his story and offering him words of encouragement and hope.

At first he stayed by my side, ate every meal with me not really engaging with the other campers.  After a few days he began to look beyond his fear and see the many campers who are living with HIV/AIDS and living fully.  The day he said to me, “Do you mind if I eat my lunch with the guys from my dorm” I knew he had found a support system of friends who would stand by him without judgment.

God blessed me with a deep compassion for the difficult journey these extraordinary men and woman were walking. They have forever touched my life.

Carole Heathers

Will You Pray For Me?

About a week ago, I posted a blog entitled Peace about the experience of Evangelist Lu Mountenay of Independence MO.  I did not know at that time that her post would have a sequel.  It is remarkably touching and very worth reading.  It is amazing what can happen when we are deeply prayerful and really open to the leading of God's Spirit.

I invite you to click on the following link and read of Lu's continuing adventure with God's children in Was Poverty Their Crime?.

I know that some of you had similarly remarkable experiences as you have followed the Spirit who led you into unfamiliar places.  Would you be willing to share at least one of those with the rest of us?  If so, please click on the comments button and share those special moments, or if you would prefer, send me an email at carman@communityofchrist.ca.  I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Posted by Carman

Home

In just over a week, our community will gather at fifteen different sites for the first ever Canadian National Conference.  Word about this event is spreading, and interest seems to be growing.  I have personally been contacted by church members who are not regular church participants and probably haven’t been to church in years, but who want to be part of the conference.  Interesting!

For those who have contacted me, the questions they ask include the following.

• My membership is in XX congregation but I now live in YY.  Can I attend the conference there? 

• Is my baptism enough to have allow me to register?  

In both cases, the answer is a resounding YES!

The interest on the part of members who have been baptized but who have not participated in the community for years has me thinking.  Oh, I’m not speculating about where they are likely to be on conference issues or how they are likely to vote; that is not what concerns me at all.  What I am wondering about is, what are the feelings such persons are likely to experience: nervousness or slight anxiousness?  Fear?  Will anyone remember them?  Will they know anyone there?  Will they be  made to feel uncomfortable or will they feel right at home?

Here is the point: some people are planning to come and participate in our community who have not done so in years!  How shall we welcome them?  Will we ignore them because we don't know who they are?  Will we treat them like some stranger in our midst?  Or will help them feel as welcome as the flowers of spring?  Like the wonderful father demonstrated in Jesus famous parable about the prodigal son, lets be deliberate about choosing the latter.

The following are a few suggestions to help us with this process.  The suggestions are good for any congregation on any day, but especially for National Conference host sites.

•  Find a half dozen of the most friendly, caring, sensitive, outreaching, non-intrusive people we have, and ask them to be greeters.
• Put one or two of these precious greeters in the parking lot, and keep them there until 10 or 15 minutes after the conference has begun.  Their job is to communicate welcome, help people know where to park, and answer any questions; that’s all.  Oh, and if its raining, they might also offer an umbrella.
• Put at least two greeters at the front door.  Their task is to smile, communicate welcome and show people where to go to register.  After people have registered, the greeters can make sure they have the appropriate conference material and help direct them to the meeting room.
• Put one or two greeters in the meeting room itself.  Their task is to usher, including to smile, communicate welcome, help people find a seat and feel comfortable.

Of course there are other things that can help, like signs showing where washrooms are located, a clean, well staffed and stocked nursery, etc, but perhaps those are subjects for another day.  For now, lets just concentrate on communicating to members who may come, “Welcome home!”

Posted by Carman

Shepherds

I have shared previously in Whats the Good Word that my morning quiet time has brought me to a review of the writings of the prophet Jeremiah in the Hebrew scriptures. This morning I am thinking about the shepherds in Jer. 23:1-4. Jeremiah used the term “shepherd” in a different way than we normally do today, so perhaps that is the place to start.

For me, and perhaps for you, the image of the shepherd is coloured by years of Christmas pageants and the many idealized and romanticized paintings of Jesus the Good Shepherd we are probably all familiar with. In the gospels, Jesus uses this pastoral image to describe his own role. This must have been quite jarring to the people of his day, since shepherds were not the normal, ideal role model for a teacher/rabbi.

Jeremiah uses the image of the shepherd to refer to the kings of Israel and Judah. The author blames the rulers of the nations for destroying and scattering the sheep, referring to the invasion of King Nebuchadnezzar and the Babylonian captivity. In this text, the scattering of the sheep is a direct result of not being faithful to God and allowing the people to chase after other deities.

Today it is common to use the image of shepherd interchangeably with that of the pastor. The pastor/shepherd is one who watches out for and cares about the well-being of the congregation, the people within her/his care. Rather than destroy or scatter the flock, the pastor is expected to protect the sheep, see that they are spiritually fed and nourished, and generally tend to their needs.

Perhaps the oldest question in Scripture is “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9) Am I expected to guard, protect, or attend to those around me? The testimony of both Jeremiah and Jesus is a resounding YES! The thing all of the above images have in common is the idea that we have responsibility to care for others, especially those within our sphere of influence.

Inevitably, that bring me/us to a consideration of my/our own pastoral ministry. Am I/are we being a responsible shepherd in caring for the needs of others? Do I/we attend to them, notice when they are missing, go visit them and check to see if they are okay, assuring them that they still have a place within the flock? Or do I/we simply lament the fact that they have wandered away somewhere,and the flock keeps getting smaller? Am I, as a pastor responsible for all of that? Once again, the testimony of both Jeremiah and Jesus is a resounding YES!

That peaceful, pastoral image of the shepherd can be most disturbing at times, can't it?

Posted by Carman

Noise

Have you noticed the tv ad where the grumpy dad expresses his missing of his young adult daughter, clearly just moved to the big city, with lots of complaints and suggestions, until they meet on common ground at a beloved coffee shop? I like her line "I like the noise!"

At this moment I'm sitting alone in the office, keeping one eye on the driveway, lest someone come in who needs attention, one ear out for the door-bell (in case I miss the drive-by) and listening to the noise from the street and the parking lot next door. And I'm thinking "I like this noise."

You're aware that I have moved from the centre of this small city out to the edge where the noise is of quite a different quality. In fact, it's not unlike the office just now. The most prevalent sound is...nothing. It's generally a very quiet place to be. The quiet makes it possible to hear the noises that most of the time get missed. Seldom is there real, deep quiet. Almost always there's some sort of noise around us.

But we get used to tuning it out. I recall growing up on a farm that was crossed by a railroad track. People would visit us and would invariably ask: how do you stand having that train running so close to you? Doesn't it disturb your sleep?

We never heard it! Just as the current flight path over our house to the newly international Waterloo airport is hardly noticeable. I'll hear a new bird before I'll notice the noise of that regular afternoon flight.

I'm thinking that much of the time my life chugs along. There's "noise" that comes in so many forms. People around come and go, experience joy and sorrow, have their own ups and downs that just become so much ambient sound for me. It's so easy to just become accustomed to the comings and goings that it takes something really unusual or surprising or jarring to catch my attention. I suppose it's normal, even necessary that we not notice everything.

But once in awhile I want to remember that those noises out there are the indications that your life matters to me to. If we are to be in community, then I must remember that I do like the noise. I have to look up from my own life now and then and connect with you and yours. I hope not to forget that. If I do, though, please make some noise!

Posted by Marion

Devotion

On the first weekend of June, a group of Evangelists gathered from across CEM to spend a weekend with Presiding Evangelist David Brock. A few spouses joined them and two younger couples who came to provide ministry, plus support with KP. In all, 21 people gathered together. It was a good weekend. As the weekend progressed, something began to tug at the edges of my consciousness. It was not until the retreat was over that I was able to put my finger on what it was.

The order of Evangelists is made of up mature ministers who have the earned wisdom and experience to reflect God’s grace to others as ministers of blessing. Most of the group that gathered has reached retirement age, some recently through retiring early, and some many years ago. Most people look forward to the retirement years with an eye to taking things a little easier. Perhaps we hope to spend more time with family, or on a beach somewhere. Perhaps we want to travel, have stacks of books we plan to read, or boxes of photos we hope to label and organize. Sometimes we hear people suggesting that they have done their part, and now it is time to sit back and relax, perhaps a little like Jesus’ parable of the barns in Luke 12.

I heard no such comments this weekend; not once. Oh there were questions asked, or statements made about possible superannuation, but not so those considering the possibility could take life easier. The few such comments that were made were always in tandem with questions about the capacity of the minister to continue to offer high quality ministry in their advancing years. “Do I have the stamina to be able to offer people the support they need? Is my memory or ability to think clearly still acute enough to do my job well? Is my ministry still current in relation to the age in which we live?”

To be clear, we all like to sit on the beach some times, and there is nothing wrong with that. Several of the Evangelists who gathered this weekend spend at least some time in Florida during the winter. But even there they seem to have been offering ministry in the places where they were. Further, from the constant stream of emails I saw, many of them used that time to firm up their plans for ministry when they got home. It is refreshing to be with a group of ministers with such devotion to God, the church, the people they serve. It is inspiring. They truly are ministers of blessing.

This post is in honour of the dedicated women and men who lovingly watch over the church, always looking for an opportunity to be a blessing to others. God’s Spirit graced our gathering this weekend. Your love and devotion ensured it would be so. May you continue to be blessed in the ministry you offer to all God's children.

Posted by Carman

Seeing

When you meet someone who looks or dresses different than the norm, what do you see? If they are dressed all in black, is that intimidating to you? What if they are covered in tattoos; do they make you feel uncomfortable or are you intrigued? Do you assume they are expressing their creative side, or that they are just rebellious? Perhaps we assume they are scary people who may even be criminal and just want to stay away from them.

The other day a blog by Evangelist Tom Mountenay called Where God's Blessing Begins came across my email inbox. I was busy, but when I finally got around to reading the post, I was both intrigued and impressed. I immediately asked Tom for permission to post a link to his blog, which he generously granted.

You can read Tom’s post by clicking here. Read it and enjoy; you’ll be glad you did.

Posted by Carman

Babies

I watched this film on the weekend. It is lovely. I highly recommend it if you’re feeling the least bit stressed and just want to spend an hour with gentle thoughts and no intellectual challenges at all. It’s delightful.Then, if this starts you thinking about how life might be better for all the babies of the world, you could consider some of the studies in this article. Who knew the impact would be so great?

There’s one study that says “For every one-year increase in the average education of reproductive-age women, a country experienced a 9.5 percent decrease in the child deaths.” Wow! That’s huge. And that isn’t only in the poor countries we hear or read about. It isn’t just Afghanistan or Haiti. It’s in the USA and Canada, where your actions and mine just might make some difference.

For sure we need to keep supporting World Accord’s efforts in India and Pakistan. But we could probably do something in our very own congregation or our very own family. I can think of things—maybe you can too—that could help a girl or woman get more education. It will be worth it for their future and the future well-being of their children.

Now I challenge you to give it some thought. Let’s make the world better for all the babies.

Posted by Marion

Respect

As a coffee drinker, and as someone who does a fair bit of distance driving, I have been known to go through the drive-through of various coffee establishments from time to time. This has happened often enough that, some time ago, I began to notice a difference between them. In particular, I noticed that going through the drive-through at Starbucks was a more enjoyable experience than almost anywhere else. It has little to do with the coffee, or with the higher price I have to pay, but it has everything to do with the attitude of the person who takes my order.

Starbucks: “Welcome to Starbucks; how is your day going today?”
Me: (Surprised): “Well, it's going fine, thank you, how about yours?”
Starbucks: “Its going pretty well, thanks for asking. What can I get started for you today?”

I recently read an interesting little book with the intriguing title, How Starbucks Saved My Life. The author, Michael Gill, describes the transformation of his life and world after he was downsized from his high priced executive position with a major advertising firm. In his former life, Gill was used to hiring and firing people almost at will. It was the corporate culture he was taught and never questioned. As a boss, one simply told people what they would do; one did not ask. One did not make eye contact or get to know employees personally; it was not seen as “good for business.” One certainly did not offer employees praise for a job well done, or even express much appreciation, since you might have to fire them next month, and praise could be used as evidence in a possible lawsuit.

After being dismissed in his early 60s, and desperate for a job, Gill was finally hired by a Starbucks store in New York City. Here he learned to work with and serve people he would formerly have hardly deigned to notice. Along the way, Gill learned about respect, for according to the author, respect is one of the prime values of the Starbucks culture. This new approach to business was totally foreign to Gill and took some getting used to. He was amazed that his new boss did not order him to do things, but would politely ask if would do some job, as if he would be doing her a big favour!

Gill eventually began to realize that the Starbucks culture was built on respect; respect for your fellow employees and respect for the customers or “guests.” He learned to listen carefully to people, to look them in the eye, and to make conversation. He learned their names. He got to know that this regular guest was undergoing treatment for cancer, and that that one always ordered decaf because she was pregnant. In the process, this former high-priced executive transformed his life from an arrogant, insensitive snob, to a caring, thoughtful and loving individual. Not only was he surprised by his new, respectful world, but he eventually discovered that, for the first time in his working career he was really happy!

As you go throughout your day today, try paying attention to who you encounter, and how they make you feel. What is it that makes the difference? Is it a smile, perhaps?

And even more important, why not pay attention to your own attitude, and see how you can affect someone else’s life for the better. You may be glad you did!

Posted by Carman

Neighbours

I just received a nice newsy email from a friend who’s recently retired. Like many newly retired folk, she’s finding herself busier than ever. [Note to self: refrain from real retirement awhile longer!] My friend is also a minister, and much of what she’s been busy with have been weddings and funerals. One of her stories is remarkable and I’d like to share it with you.

Married to a wonderful supportive spouse who happens to be an active practising Catholic, my friend has lots of family whose heritage is in the Catholic church. But like many people today, some of this extended family do not have an active church life and don’t have a priest or even a parish that they feel attached to. These folks have come to look to this Community of Christ priest as a family minister at times when they “need” one—for weddings or funerals.

She had the opportunity to be with a sister-in-law through the last days of her illness and then with the family for the funeral at a somewhat distant city. As it happened, the next door neighbours of the bereaved family are active in the Community of Christ congregation in that town. The reception following the services were held in that church. And our friend was supported by her brothers and sisters so that she could bring comfort and minister to her extended family. She can also return home being assured that these good folks will continue to offer help and solace to their bereaved neighbours.

Of course we’ll say “it’s a small world” and think about the interesting “synchronicity” of the experience. But as Allyson says: I’ve learned it’s not about me and what I do; I just need to be open to whatever that power is working there already.

I am grateful for her and her ministry and her openness to the power, but I am also grateful for those neighbours who were doing their part for a family in need.

Posted by Marion

Care

I spent some hours in the car with my friends at CBC and then had a good long visit with a pastor. A couple of things stick in my mind after the day.

I listened to the sad story of the two brothers who died in their home. One was the older brother who’d spent his life as the only care-giver of his younger brother who had Down’s syndrome. The younger one died of starvation or lack of basic care after the older brother died of some natural cause. The reporter interviewed neighbours and officials who are responsible for social programming in that community. It is a sad story, and everyone was sorry and upset that these two brothers had perished in the midst of a caring community.

Now, back to my conversation with my friend the pastor. We talked about how prone we are to “put on our Sunday faces” at church and fail to let others know that we have troubles. We imagined a congregation going for years and years, doing church as always, planning events, handing out assignments, making sure it all gets done and never really knowing who needs something more.

We talk and write a lot about communities, about our faith communities, our congregations. What makes a community real? Oh yes, there’s shared history, common culture, even a sense of belonging that comes from shared goals and values.

But what about the people who live next door? Is there someone to care for them? How about the “always fine” man, woman, youth, or child we see all the time? Are they really fine? Who cares for them?

I am sorry this isn’t one of our cheery “good word” posts today. I’m feeling kind of sad about that pair of brothers who had no one to care, until it was too late.

Posted by Marion