Answer

“If that is your question, the answer is No.”

That was the line in the email from the Mission Centre President. If you received that email yesterday, you know who you are. You probably didn’t hear me cheering, but I was. If only we had more of those responses what a great world this would be.

I’m following up yesterday’s “Ask” post with some more thoughts on the matter. For the most part the “ask” blog was suggesting how to ask for help or build up somebody else's skills. Or how to tap into someone else’s expertise to increase your own learning or understanding or skill in some area. For all those things my advice to clarify your question still stands.

But sometimes the questions that come to us are something like this:

• If I’m not able to do the pre-work is it ok if I still attend the workshop?
• Can you record your session and send it out for us to use in our congregation without actually taking the course?
• Would it be alright to combine the two events and make one big one so people won’t have to travel?
• Do you mind if we just photocopy the song and save the expense of buying enough music for the whole choir?
• I’ve heard it’s easier to get forgiveness than to ask for permission. Could we use that principle for this situation?
• If I promise to leave all my money to the church can I be excused from making a regular offering?
• I realize you've already preached four times this week but if we invite 500 of our closest friends, could you maybe say a few words for them?
• I know you’ve planned a very tight schedule, but if I stay until lunch time would it be alright to skip out of the afternoon session?
• Since you’re not making any real decisions at this conference can we be excused from sending delegates to participate in one more dialogue session?
• We're all aware that there are poor people everywhere. Can’t we just focus on the poor in our own country and let the rest of the world take care of their own?
• I know you’re really busy, but could you handle this area of ministry for me/us?

Have I made my point? Sometimes folks, the answer is No.

Posted by Marion

Busy

Once upon a time, in my former life, I worked with many professionals from other countries, especially developing countries, who would come to Canada for several months, usually a full year, to learn the nuts and bolts of “value-for-money-auditing.” (Canada leads the world in its expertise with this particular type of audit, for which I am very grateful as it has given me lots of valuable experience and good friendships around the globe!)

I loved being with the folks from other nations as they learned about auditing, but it was way more fun to watch them learn about us, our country, our culture, our climate. I recall once hearing one African gentleman explaining to a newly arrived Caribbean fellow how to walk in snow. “You might think it’s like sand but really it’s quite different. As you step on it, it just goes away under your foot.”

Then there was the day we had to keep stopping class to photograph the first snowfall as the snow piled up on the street, on the grass, on top of the fire plugs and street signs. The time lapse photography was remarkable to see; I gained a new appreciation for this amazing but very common Canadian experience. I recall Regina, a good friend from Swaziland, coming into my office early in September, wrapped in parka, gloves and scarf! “I’ll never use the word ‘cold’ again when I go back home!” she exclaimed.

One thing these international friends all picked up very, very quickly in their Canadian stay. They would discuss it among themselves. They soon realized that the answer to “How are you?” which they may have used back home, or learned in an English conversation class, was quite different here. More than once someone has asked my why they had been so misled. (I tended to be the person to ask such questions.)

The answer to “How are you?” is not some version of “Fine thank you,” or “I am very well, how are you?” as they had been taught. No, the answer is always: “Busy!” Usually there is a long sigh and then often there will be a litany of the many projects needing work, the long to do list, the many appointments to be kept, the children’s schedules, the renovations underway, the spouse’s equally long and impossible lists.

My international friends could not understand how we had allowed this to happen to us. It just didn’t make sense to them. And it really did tend to slow down the work day to have this ritual conversation every single time. My friends found it exhausting, but unavoidable. Think about it. What is your first response when someone asks that question: how are you? Can you keep yourself from responding: Busy!

A new element has been added as I’m considering my imminent retirement. (You may have heard of it.) Retired folks I know invariably confide that they’ve never been so busy as since they’ve retired. And they tell me with a confusing mixture of despair and satisfaction. It’s as if they were afraid they might fade into nothingness once they’ve stepped off the clock, but now realize they still have purpose because they are still busy.

Congregations and pastors I visit deal with this phenomenon all the time. Scheduling is just so difficult; people’s lives are just so busy. What have we gotten ourselves into anyway? My international advisers tried to teach me, and I’ve tried to learn how important it is not to let myself get so busy that I don’t have time for the things that are most important to me. How about you? Any thoughts on this issue?

Posted by Marion