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The spot for the good news, the good word, the quick reports of the many, many wonderful news items I hear all the time and want to share with the rest of you. Expect to find the good news when you come to check out "what’s the good word?"

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Sensitive Issues


I thought I would provide a discourse below which is real life and gives us pause for thought on the discussion of sensitive issues. (The opinion of the one posing the question may not be shared by others)

Comment from Facebook - Regarding your response to the Senior High concerns on Facebook, you responded with respectful words and asking those involved to hold to our values and be patient with the process.

I was hoping you could discuss this with us, and share with us what aspects may be valuable to think about in similar situations where discussion has become hostile, and what called you to act/speak out to impose patience and understanding (and perhaps even how you managed to remain a moderator and voice with a certain sense of neutrality).


My Response - Hindsight always offers a new look beyond what might have been the reality at the time I wrote what I did. Initially I was reacting, in my way, perhaps not much differently than many of us; I tend to speak my mind. That being said I also invite others to have their say. I am a believer in dialogue. I learn from the exchange of viewpoints. I have found over the years how limited my view is alone. If I have been perceived to garner some neutrality it is perhaps due to my trying to listen. When I invited the youth/YA to share at the CEM conference, their input changed me. Subsequent meetings with the Sr High Directors and individual conversations with others in that community added insight. I still share my thoughts as well. The primary goal for me was to allow discussion although to me Facebook is not the appropriate venue. Facebook to me is a non-friendly, naturally hurtful and often a demeaning forum for airing sensitive issues. There are great aspects to Facebook, but this is not one. There is a permanency to remarks made and the forum is vastly public. A comment is forever sealed in time even if later one was to alter or soften their stance. Hurtful statements continue to hurt with longevity. Comments broadcast out beyond the intended circle of participants to family, friends and casual acquaintances that then witness ugly discord permanently colouring their perception of your faith community and any future chance of sharing our precepts of peace etc.

Dialogue is sacred. An example; in small groups where people share together in a "safe place" where there is an expectation of respectful exchange, confidentiality and openness which this environment fosters; trust, learning and person to person caring bring you together instead of alienating one another and creating sides. We desperately need dialogue, but the setting is all important. Our goal is not to just espouse a viewpoint no matter what.....it should be to listen, empathize, get the facts, see the big picture, but hear the person.

Let's think about the outcome we want with the person(s) in our relationships and how the dialogue can best be fostered to heal or enhance it. Let's also include prayerful openness in the process. Hearts are softened through prayer.

submitted by Kerry

2 comments:

  1. I might add on Feb your also getting dinged with private emotion filled conversations simutiniosly through instant message(s)... Many of us did our best, to communicate strength, calm, and community...for days, and all hours. Then found ourselves in a single moment, .3 seconds, exhausted, or in a emotional reaction striking a match and adding fuel to fire without intention or opposite of intention.

    That .3 seconds undermined your days, and days, and days of prayer and effort....to error is human.

    But know one else has the ability to see the effort of those days and its all lost in a moment.

    And you find latter, you really hurt someone's feelings, someone you really value, or you .3 seconds were misconstrued.

    As I've learned Fb helps community stay togeather, but isn't a good place to heal or build it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, how true. I have been there too. I pray we both are able to find ways to reconcile hurts and feelings. Being "with" people is a starting point. God bless you. K

    ReplyDelete